Together
by RinnyRinRinArmy
Summary: What do you do when you see your friend/acquaintance/lover/club-mate about to commit suicide? You try to stop them, right? For some reason, this wasn't what Len decided to do moments before his most important person ended her life. (Rated T for suicide and self-harming)


**_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN VOCALOID_**

* * *

 _I need to go now._

 _Because,_

 _She's waiting._

 _Right?_

 _She needs me._

 _Right?_

 _Because,_

 _I love her._

 _Right?_

 _No._

 _It doesn't matter._

 _Not anymore._

 _Not when she's been alone all her life._

 _I won't let her._

* * *

"Rin!" I called out, bursting the door. The large rooftop on front of me was gray, and old, and boring, and ordinary. A single individual stood out on the pale setting, her back facing me, and her adorable honey-blond hair swaying softly in the wind. I walked towards her and then stood next to her.

"…Beautiful, isn't it?"

The scenery was nothing out of ordinary. It was just our empty school field. Normally, it would be flooded with people, but at this time, even people with club activities have started going home. The beautiful orange sun was beginning to set, getting ready to dye the world in black.

"…Hm."

As if mocking the scenery laid out in front of her, Rin's eyelids were half-opened, her aquamarine eyes clouded with emotions difficult to understand. Her pale, pink lips were moving softly, humming a certain tune not many people would recognize. Compared to her masterpiece of a face, the scenery was like a child's doodles on a blank piece of unused paper.

"I heard." I said, loud enough so she could hear me. Rin's eyebrows softly rose before returning to it's place before, a trick that would fool most people. She closed her eyes, as if preparing herself to hear whatever I was going to say. "So you heard."

"…You're really going to do it?"

"Perhaps. Are you going to stop me?"

"Not like I have any right to."

"You're right, you don't."

Rin flashed a gaze my way, her lip entangled in a cheeky, teasing smile. I closed my eyes and smiled, too. We didn't need any words to understand. _I_ didn't. The silence between us was always, for some reason, comforting. In silence, alone with her, I found no pain and more comfort than all the words I've traded with other people combined.

"Sure you're not leaving anything behind?"

"People who have anything left wouldn't…"

Rin's words trailed off, and I didn't say anything. My gaze found it's way to the scars on her arms. She usually hides them, but I guess there's no point anymore. Seeing the visible marks on her arm made me recall the gray days when she was constantly reminded she had nothing.

* * *

 _"One… for everything you did." She spoke softly to herself, her trembling hand holding a sharp razor. The sharp metal made contact with her wrist, and for a second she felt nothing._

 _And then, pain._

 _It hurt._

 _It hurt, but why was she smiling?_

 _"Two… for everything you didn't do."_

 _This time, she cut a little bit deeper. Liquid started flowing from her wrist, to the tip of her numb fingers, and then into the floor in gorgeous red. The pain multiplied, and yet, for some reason she felt joy. It was wrong, but it felt right. It hurt, but it made her glad._

 _"Three... for everything you put them trough."_

 _A guilty, crooked smile made it's way to her thin lips as her no-longer trembling hand repeated what it did before. A few scenes flashed in her head, the sneers, the jokes, the mocks-if only they could understand half of what she was going trough. No, they weren't wrong to judge her-she deserved all of it._

 _She was just another trash, after all._

 _"Four… for your… existence."_

 _Why couldn't she stop?_

 _Why was the pain addicting?_

 _Shel left those questions answered, finding herself staring at the flowing sink and the pool of crimson red underneath it as her vision started to blur, before turning completely black._

* * *

"…Rin?"

Without saying anything, she turned her head to face me, and I found myself lost in her deep, aquamarine eyes. Her eyes had never actually stood out, or anything. A pair of aquamarine eyes that, despite never sparkling or seeming bright like the others, never once looked dull. Eyes that mirrored my own, eyes that entranced me one too many times, eyes that could only hide so much, eyes I was still a stranger to.

"…I want…" The words I wanted to say were caught up in my throat, "…ramen."

Rin closed her eyes, as if saying, _Then go get some_ , and returned to the scenery in front of her. She probably didn't know how much she meant to me, or what had she done to my life, or how anything involving her would effect me, neither did she care. No, more like… She wouldn't understand.

 _She couldn't._

I wondered if she remembered the times I got in trouble solely for her sake. The food-fight with Miki, the weird yaoi re-enactment with Kaito, the mayonnaise incident with Miku… I wondered if she remembered the countless pranks we pulled, the number of lunches we stole, the ridiculous jokes we shared. I wondered if any of that meant anything to her.

Maybe they did.

No, they didn't.

Probably.

Maybe.

Most likely.

My mind trailed off to the signs this past week. All the jokes about suicide and self-harming. Mindless people never cease to amaze me. If they knew just a little percent about those subjects they made fun of, yet knew nothing about, I wondered if I would be standing here right now.

…

Why was I having these thoughts?

Was I convincing myself this could be stopped?

Was I trying to put the blame on everyone else?

Rin and I are on this spot because of everything. Every point in our life up until now have caused us to stand here right here. Every single message I sent, every call I didn't hear, every help I refused caused us to be here right now. Whether our time spent together meant anything to her, whether anything anyone said had been taken back, it was irrelevant.

She meant for this from the start.

And despite being with her that much,

I wasn't big enough an individual in her eyes to have the right to do anything.

* * *

 _"I want to know." I said, reaching out for one of the Pocky's laid out on the table. She did the same, and without saying anything, continued playing games on her white PSP. After taking a bite from a Pocky, she let out words, "About what?"_

 _"I want to try and fix you."_

 _"You can't."_

 _"Then we fall apart together. Who says we have to be complete? What if we were destined to be broken?" I rambled. Rin stared up to me, amused. I probably sounded like a fool ranting about things he didn't understand, and maybe I was. Although amusement was what was reflected on her eyes, she had no idea what stirred up inside of me that caused me to say all of that._

 _"Well, I was, after all, a mistake from the start." She finally said, staring at me with those universe-like eyes of hers. To the serious Rin in front of me, I could only respond with a dumb 'Huh?', to which she laughed at._

 _"…It's no big deal. My mother got married in an arranged marriage with the duke of a certain country and met my father, who was also married. They wanted to leave an impression-a mark on each other's hearts, before they forget about all of this and go their separate ways, and then they had me. The mistake. Simply put, I was raised isolated-away from anyone. My existence is proof of something forbidden, and so I must be hidden at all costs."_

 _The way Rin said it really did made it sound like it wasn't a big deal-as if she was just telling the plot of the game she was playing awhile ago._

 _"That's how I was born, and as for what happens after that, that's…" Rin's words disappeared into the thin air. Her gaze softened, and I knew she wasn't ready yet. I've been trough at least a little bit of the suffering with her here at high school, and the fact that she trusted me enough to tell me about her birth meant I still had a chance. That was enough for me._

 _"You don't have to."_

 _"…Mmn…"_

 _She reached for another Pocky, and I did the same. Our fingertips touched, our gazes met, and I felt like a high-school girl._

 _"Rin."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Are you… ever going to… let me in one day?"_

* * *

"Len."

"Hm?"

"What are your plans?" My gaze turned to Rin, but she was still focused on the school view. Her eyes that were usually both sharp and clouded now looked conflicted. It was as if her feelings had a battle with each other, and from the look on her face, the side she didn't want to win, won.

"Just… Average teenager plans." I tried to make my voice sound as light as possible. "You know, somehow make it to a university… Get laid, maybe… Get a steady job… To live out my life."

 _With you._

 _Well, that was the plan, anyway._

"You'd be able to do it, all of them." Rin said without any doubt in her voice. "Don't act like you don't have a decent brain, dickhead. You have a pretty good-looking face, too. Just… stop the pranks-especially on the teachers, and you'd succeed in all of them. I meant, something you probably can't do?"

 _Stop you._

"To be fair, most of those pranks were your idea."

Rin turned to me, smiling softly, as if saying 'it can't be helped'

"Well, whatever it is, at least try to do it." Rin stuck out her tongue. "You have your whole life laid out in front of you. There are many possibilities that can lead you to even more possibilities. You'll meet all types of different people-worse than anyone you've ever met, and better than anyone you've ever met. Even after seeing the other side of this world, you've still got dreams. You're precious, Len."

 _And so are you._

"Anything you want, Len, you can goddamn well be anything..." Rin whispered hoarsely. "It feels like all I've been doing is dragging you down. If you hadn't met me, I bet you'd be on the popular clique. Your life would've been-"

 _You're precious._

 _More important to me than anyone else, but why can't you see that?!_

"I'm glad to have met you." I interrupted Rin, staring directly at her eyes. "I don't regret meeting you. If I didn't find you on the park that night, I-that's… My life wouldn't be the same. You showed me the sadness of this world, and it's beauty. You showed me hardships, pain, suffering, and yet, you always act as if you aren't surrounded by them. I don't regret building that club with you-I don't regret a single prank. Although I still don't know shit about you, I…!"

"I said that I'm not leaving anything behind."

"…?"

"I said I'm not leaving anything behind, but I wonder why…!"

Rin was looking at me with eyes that were about to cry. It was the first time I saw her shed tears, and I knew damn well it was going to be the last. Seeing her torn in front of me made me remember the reason I went up here in the first place.

It was unfair.

She had always been the best, but everyone acted as if she was the opposite. She had been alone all her life-all because she was that cute, talented, rich kid. She'd seen things none of us should even know. To do this-it was her dream. She wanted to die.

No…

She wanted for her suffering to end.

And I couldn't do anything about it.

Rin was crying for my sake. She was worried about me, and although she'd never admit it, she was afraid she'd miss me. I knew this was her wish, so why was I trying to stop her? Did I want her to continue living her painful life? I knew Rin meant for this to happen from the start. I said I'd be the one to save her or at least, understand her, so damn it, why!

 _I don't want you to go._

Unable to see her shedding tears anymore, I reached in for a hug, but then,

 _I want to help you, but why are you pushing me away?_

I've always thought Rin had amazing eyes. Not only physically, but what she could see with them. How she's always been able to somehow get the tiniest details out of everyone situation. How she managed to catch things people hide. How they made people feel as if she could peek inside their minds.

Rin's way of thinking has always surprised me. She's always realized how things actually work. She could figure out feelings people tried to suppress, and she could easily analyze situations and decide how to act on them.

How can someone so ridiculously intelligent be so dense?

"If you don't want to go alone," I whispered loud enough for the sobbing Rin to hear, "I'll go with you."

"It's okay." Rin quickly wiped her tears and looked up to me. "I'm ready."

Her eyes that were sparkling from her tears were as if asking me if I was ready. I couldn't do anything to those precious eyes. Rin motioned for me to back off, and I took a few steps backwards.

Rin's back was facing me, and millions of thoughts crossed my mind, becoming so loud I thought Rin'd be able to hear them.

 _What do people do when they see their loved one about to commit suicide?_

 _They try to stop them, right?_

 **[Len, kill me… Please…]**

 _She meant for this to happen, from the moment she met-from before she even met me._

 _Since the start, all she wanted to do was die._

 _I knew it was her wish._

 _I knew it was what she wanted._

 _But,_

Rin's smiling figure flashed in my head, coming up with tricks she knew no one's ever tried before. Her teasing, sweet gaze would somehow lure me in to do whatever she wanted, things I never even dreamt of doing. I remembered the first time I saw her eyes empty, and her smile fading. I remembered all the blood pouring out of her, and the countless words she never managed to say.

 _Why do I want to stop her, too?_

"Len."

"What is it, Rin?"

Her voice softened.

"Why did you came?"

 _I want to stop you._

"I don't want you to be alone." I said. "Not when you've been alone all your life-I won't let you."

"Ah." Rin let out. "Thanks for understanding. I'm glad you came. You're probably the reason I've managed to come this far."

 _Then can't you go further?_

"Well, goodb-"

"Rin!"

 _I'm not going to let it end like this._

 _Tell her to stay._

 _With you._

 _Tell her you'll figure it out somehow._

 _Tell her you're here for her._

 _Tell her._

 _If you do, she'd stay._

 _She would._

"I love you."

"I know."

Rin turned to me, smiling softly and her eyes about to cry. She looked like a beaten up angel; gorgeous, mesmerizing, intoxicating, and yet, already betrayed by everything so many times that she learned to trust no one. Her gaze was so warm, and light, as if saying 'sorry' for reasons we both knew. Her lips softly moved, giving my brain little time to comprehend what she was saying.

And then, she jumped.

 _For a second there,_

 _I thought she said,_

 _"Me too."_

* * *

 _ **God, another one-shot! I loved this one, and just a little note, TO ALL OF YOU THAT ARE SELF-HARMING/THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE, PLEASE STOP! I'm sure there are people who want you to be with them-you just to have to notice them. Everyone's amazing on their own way, and no one should see themselves as less than others. And plus, if you're reading this right now, ot means you read fanfiction and actually take the time to read the a/ns, so I bet I'd want to hang out with you!**_

 _ **Pm me if you wanna talk!**_

 ** _Favorite and/or follow if you enjoyed, please! Leave me a review, because I really do enjoy reading them and it motivates me to make another chapter sooner, faster, yeah! If you have any interest in what else I might be working on, check out my profile! I write about Fairy Tail and Sket Dance on my Chocolatesaregood account, and Vocaloid on my other account, RinnyRinRinArmy._**

 ** _-Skye_**


End file.
